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.\" Written by Eric L. Pederson <eric@winternet.com> for the
.\" entertainment of the denizens of alt.sysadmin.recovery
.TH LUSER 8 "25 September 1995"
.SH NAME
luser \- process to control the clueless induhviduals
who (mis)use computer systems, peripheral devices
and system administrators. Word play on "loser" and "user".
.SH SYNOPSIS
.B luser [\-d] [\-g<level>] [\-s]
.I <lusername>
.SH DESCRIPTION
.LP
.B luser
is the primary tool a system administrator uses to
manage end-user requests. This powerful tool can actually cause
the specified user to perform actions as specified by the flags.
.LP
With no flags,
.B luser
deletes every running process owned by
the specified
.I <lusername>.
.SH OPTIONS
.TP
.B \-d
Disk reclamation mode. Remove all files
in the home directory of
.I <lusername>.
.TP
.B \-g<level>
Grovel mode. Causes the specified luser to
make an act of contrition to the sysadmin
for past sins. The <level> indicates the
severity of the contrition:
.TP
LEVEL
.TP
0
User makes a sincere apology and promises
to never do it again.
.TP
1
User buys sysadmin a large quantity of sysadmin's
favorite beverage.
.TP
2
User signs over ownership of his/her car to sysadmin.
.TP
3
User resigns from the company after writing a long
letter of apology detailing his/her failings.
.TP
4
User commits ritual suicide by sucking on a power strip and
grounding himself to a conduit.
.SH NOTES
Sysadmins are encouraged to use the \-s option as a way to
smarten up the world's user base. Use the \-g option at level 4
outside the confines of the machine room. The more lusers that
witness the act, the better.
.SH SEE ALSO
sysadmin(1)
.SH BUGS
Occasionally, the luser may survive the effects of
.B luser \-g4.
In that event, a second invocation of the command will usually
prove to be fatal.
.SH HISTORY
Written by Eric L. Pederson <eric@bofh.org.uk>.
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