1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
|
((11900
. "You cannot just paste code with no understanding of what is going on and expect it to work.")
(11901
. "You can't just make shit up and expect the computer to know what you mean, Retardo!")
(11902
. "You said it didn't work, but you didn't say what it would have done if it *had* worked.")
(11903 . "What are you really trying to accomplish here?")
(11904 . "Who the fuck cares which one is faster?")
(11905 . "Now is the time in our program where you look at the manual.")
(11906 . "Look at the error message! Look at the error message!")
(11907
. "Looking for a compiler bug is the strategy of LAST resort. LAST resort.")
(11908 . "Premature optimization is the root of all evil.")
(11909 . "Bad programmer! No cookie!")
(11910
. "I see you omitted $! from the error message. It won't tell you what went wrong if you don't ask it to.")
(11911
. "You wrote the same thing twice here. The cardinal rule of programming is that you never ever write the same thing twice.")
(11912
. "Evidently it's important to you to get the wrong answer as quickly as possible.")
(11913 . "Gee, I don't know. I wonder what the manual says about that?")
(11914
. "Well, no duh. That's because you ignored the error message, dimwit.")
(11915
. "Only Sherlock Holmes can debug the program by pure deduction from the output. You are not Sherlock Holmes. Run the fucking debugger already.")
(11916
. "Always ignore the second error message unless the meaning is obvious.")
(11917 . "Read. Learn. Evolve.")
(11918
. "Well, then get one that *does* do auto-indent. You can't do good work with bad tools.")
(11919
. "No. You must believe the ERROR MESSAGE. You MUST believe the error message.")
(11920 . "The error message is the Truth. The error message is God. ")
(11921
. "It could be anything. Too bad you didn't bother to diagnose the error, huh?")
(11922
. "You don't suppress error messages, you dumbass, you PAY ATTENTION and try to understand them.")
(11923 . "Never catch a signal except as a last resort.")
(11924
. "Well, if you don't know what it does, why did you put it in your program?")
(11925 . "Gosh, that wasn't very bright, was it?")
(11926
. "That's like taking a crap on someone's doorstep and then ringing the doorbell to ask for toilet paper.")
(11927
. "A good approach to that problem would be to hire a computer programmer.")
(11928
. "First get a book on programming. Then read it. Then write the program.")
(11929
. "First ask yourself `How would I do this without a computer?' Then have the computer do it the same way.")
(11930 . "Would you like to see my rate card?")
(11931 . "I think you are asking the wrong question here.")
(11932 . "Holy cow.") (11933 . "Because it's a syntax error.")
(11934 . "Because this is Lisp, not C.")
(11935 . "Because this is Lisp, not Perl.")
(11936 . "Because that's the way it is.") (11937 . "Because.")
(11938
. "If you have `some weird error', the problem is probably with your frobnitzer.")
(11939
. "Because the computer cannot read your mind. Guess what? I cannot read your mind *either*.")
(11940
. "You said `It doesn't work'. The next violation will be punished by death.")
(11941
. "Of course it doesn't work! That's because you don't know what you are doing!")
(11942 . "Sure, but you have to have some understanding also.")
(11943
. "Ah yes, and you are the first person to have noticed this bug since 1987. Sure.")
(11944 . "Yes, that's what it's supposed to do when you say that.")
(11945 . "Well, what did you expect?")
(11946
. "Perhaps you have forgotten that this is an engineering discipline, not some sort of black magic.")
(11947
. "You know, this sort of thing is amenable to experimental observation.")
(11948 . "Perhaps your veeblefitzer is clogged.")
(11949 . "What happens when you try?")
(11950 . "Now you are just being superstitious. ")
(11951
. "Your question has exceeded the system limit for pronouns in a single sentence. Please dereference and try again.")
(11952
. "In my experience that is a bad strategy, because the people who ask such questions are the ones who paste the answer into their program without understanding it and then complain that it `does not work'.")
(11953
. "Of course, this is a heuristic, which is a fancy way of saying that it doesn't work. ")
(11954
. "If your function is written correctly, it will handle an empty array the same way as a nonempty array.")
(11955 . "When in doubt, use brute force.")
(11956
. "Well, it might be more intuitive that way, but it would also be useless.")
(11957 . "Show the code.") (11958 . "The bug is in you, not in Lisp.")
(11959 . "Cargo-cult.")
(11960
. "So you threw in some random punctuation for no particular reason, and then you didn't get the result you expected. Hmmmm.")
(11961
. "How should I know what is wrong when I haven't even seen the code? I am not clairvoyant.")
(11962
. "How should I know how to do what you want when you didn't say what you wanted to do?")
(11963 . "It's easy to get the *wrong* answer in O(1) time.")
(11964
. "I guess this just goes to show that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it.")
(11999 . "You are a stupid asshole. Shut the fuck up.")
(12000 . "Looking for a compiler bug is the second-to-last resort. The last resort is blaming bad RAM. It's never the correct hypothesis.")
(12017 . "It doesn't need to be portable, it just needs to work on your system."))
|
