(1) Never give anything away for nothing.
(2) Never give more than you have to (always catch the buyer hungry and
always make him wait).
(3) Always take back everything if you possibly can.
-- William S. Burroughs, on drug pushing
A friend with weed is a friend indeed.
A joint is just tea for two.
A life spent in search of the perfect hash brownie is a life well spent.
Acid -- better living through chemistry.
Acid absorbs 47 times its own weight in excess Reality.
"All flesh is grass"
Smoke a friend today!
All he did was take the ball and run every time they called his
number -- which came to be more and more often, and in the Super Bowl Thomas
was the whole show. But the season is now over; the purse is safe in the
vault; and Duane Thomas is facing two to twenty for possession. Nobody really
expects him to serve time, but nobody seems to think he'll be playing for
Dallas next year either, and a few sporting people who claim to know how the
NFL works say he won't be playing for ANYBODY next year; that the Commissioner
is outraged at this mockery of all those Government-sponsored "Beware of Dope"
TV shots that dressed up the screen last autumn.
We all enjoyed those spots, but not everyone found them convincing.
Here was a White House directive saying several million dollars would be spent
to drill dozens of Name Players to stare at the camera and try to stop grinding
their teeth long enough to say they hate drugs of any kind... and then the best
running back in the world turns out to be a goddamn uncontrollable drugsucker.
But not for long. There is not much room for freaks in the National
Football League. Joe Namath was saved by the simple blind luck of getting
drafted by a team in New York City, a place where social outlaws are not
always viewed as criminals. But Namath would have had a very different trip
if he'd been drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals.
-- Hunter S. Thompson
Being stoned on marijuana isn't very different from being stoned on gin.
-- Ralph Nader
Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.
But these pills can't be habit forming; I've been taking them for years.
Cocaine -- the thinking man's Dristan.
Cocaine is nature's way of telling you you have too much money.
Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know -- I've been using it for years.
-- Tallulah Bankhead
Cocaine's a joke!
(Who's got the next line?)
Cocaine: using tomorrow's energy today.
Deliberate provocation of mystical experience, particularly by LSD and
related hallucinogens, in contrast to spontaneous visionary experiences,
entails dangers that must not be underestimated. Practitioners must take
into account the peculiar effects of these substances, namely their ability
to influence our consciousness, the innermost essence of our being. The
history of LSD to date amply demonstrates the catastrophic consequences that
can ensue when its profound effect is misjudged and the substance is mistaken
for a pleasure drug. Special internal and external advance preparations
are required; with them, an LSD experiment can become a meaningful experience.
-- Dr. Albert Hoffman, the discoverer of LSD
Don't drop acid -- take it pass/fail.
-- Seen in a Ladies' Room at Harvard
Dope will get you through times of no money better that money will get
you through times of no dope.
-- Freewheelin' Franklin, "The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers"
[aka Gilbert Sheldon]
Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes of Harvard Medical School inhaled ether
at a time when it was popularly supposed to produce such mystical or
"mind-expanding" experiences, much as LSD is supposed to produce such
experiences today. Here is his account of what happened:
"I once inhaled a pretty full dose of ether, with the determination
to put on record, at the earliest moment of regaining consciousness, the
thought I should find uppermost in my mind. The mighty music of the triumphal
march into nothingness reverberated through my brain, and filled me with a
sense of infinite possibilities, which made me an archangel for a moment.
The veil of eternity was lifted. The one great truth which underlies all
human experience and is the key to all the mysteries that philosophy has
sought in vain to solve, flashed upon me in a sudden revelation. Henceforth
all was clear: a few words had lifted my intelligence to the level of the
knowledge of the cherubim. As my natural condition returned, I remembered
my resolution; and, staggering to my desk, I wrote, in ill-shaped, straggling
characters, the all-embracing truth still glimmering in my consciousness.
The words were these (children may smile; the wise will ponder):
`A strong smell of turpentine prevails throughout.'"
-- The Consumers Union Report: Licit & Illicit Drugs
Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route!
Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start
closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive
like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume
and at least a pint of ether.
-- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"
Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in restraint.
-- Dave Sim, author of "Cerebus".
Give me libertines or give me meth.
Give me Librium or give me Meth.
Have a coke and a smile!
-- John DeLorean
Honest, officer, had I known my health was in jeopardy, why, I'd never have
I believe that if people would learn to use LSD's vision-inducing capability
more wisely, under suitable conditions, in medical practice and in conjunction
with meditation, then in the future this problem child could become a wonder
-- Dr. Albert Hoffman
I do not take drugs -- I am drugs.
-- Salvador Dali
I may kid around about drugs, but really, I take them seriously.
-- Doctor Graper
I shall come to you in the night and we shall see who is stronger -- a little
girl who won't eat her dinner or a great big man with cocaine in his veins.
-- Sigmund Freud, in a letter to his fiancee
I tell ya, drugs never worked out for me. The first time I tried smoking
pot I didn't know what I was doing. I smoked half the joint, got the
munchies, and ate the other half.
Well, the first time I tried coke I was so embarrassed. I kept getting the
bottle stuck up my nose.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
I would like to suggest that you not use speed, and here's why: it is
going to mess up your heart, mess up your liver, your kidneys, rot out
your mind. In general this drug will make you just like your mother
-- Frank Zappa
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've
always worked for me.
-- Hunter S. Thompson
I've never had a problem with drugs; I've had problems with the police.
-- Keith Richards
I never turn blue in anyone's bathroom. I think that's the height of bad
-- Keith Richards
If coke is a joke, I'm waiting around for the next line.
If you remember the 60's, you weren't there.
In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to drop
out, turn on, and groove with the chemicals and light shows at discotheques.
-- Art Linkletter
Listen, Tyrone, you don't know how dangerous that stuff is.
Suppose someday you just plug in and go away and never come back? Eh?
Ho, ho! Don't I wish! What do you think every electrofreak
dreams about? You're such an old fuddyduddy! A-and who sez it's a
dream, huh? M-maybe it exists. Maybe there is a Machine to take us
away, take us completely, suck us out through the electrodes out of the
skull 'n' into the Machine and live there forever with all the other
souls it's got stored there. It could decide who it would suck out,
a-and when. Dope never gave you immortality. You hadda come back, every
time, into a dying hunk of smelly meat! But We can live forever, in a
clean, honest, purified, Electroworld.
-- Thomas Pynchon, "Gravity's Rainbow"
LSD melts in your mind, not in your hand.
Marijuana is like Coors beer. If you could buy the damn stuff at a Georgia
filling station, you'd decide you wouldn't want it.
-- Billy Carter
Marijuana is nature's way of saying, "Hi!".
NO OPIUM-SMOKING IN THE ELEVATORS
-- sign in the Rand Hotel, New York, 1907
Not that we needed all that stuff, but when you get locked into a serious
drug collection the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
-- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"
Opiates are the religion of the upper-middle classes.
-- Debbie VanDam
Opium is very cheap considering you don't feel like eating for the next
-- Taylor Mead, famous transvestite
People who claim to know jackrabbits will tell you they are primarily
motivated by Fear, Stupidity and Craziness. But I have spent enough time in
jackrabbit country to know that most of them lead pretty dull lives; they are
bored with their daily routines: eat, fuck, sleep, hop around a bush now and
then... No wonder some of them drift over the line into cheap thrills once in
a while; there has to be a powerful adrenalin rush in crouching by the side of
a road, waiting for the next set of headlights to come along, then streaking
out of the bushes with split-second timing and making it across to the other
side just inches in front of the speeding front wheels.
Why not? Anything that gets the adrenalin moving like a 440 volt
blast in a copper bathtub is good for the reflexes and keeps the veins free
of cholesterol ... but too many adrenalin rushes in any given time-span has
the same bad effect on the nervous system as too many electro-shock treatments
are said to have on the brain: after a while you start burning out the
When a jackrabbit gets addicted to road running, it is only a matter
of time before he gets smashed -- and when a journalist turns into a politics
junkie he will sooner or later start raving and babbling in print about things
that only a person who has Been There can possibly understand.
-- Hunter Thompson, "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail"
Pilots should avoid using illegal drugs.
-- AOPA's Pilot's Handbook, 1988
Reality is a cop-out for people who can't handle drugs.
Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
Reality is for people who can't deal with drugs.
-- Lily Tomlin
Smuggling... It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
-- paid for by your local Colombian recruiting office
Special tonight, the best toot in town at prices you won't believe!! Also, the
finest dope, brought all the way from Columbia by spirited young adventurers.
All available tonight, as usual, in the graduate students' bullpen from 11:00
pm on, usual terms and conditions. Faculty members especially welcome.
Spend extra time on hobby. Get plenty of rolling papers.
Taking drugs in the 60's, I tried to reach Nirvana, but all I ever got were
re-runs of The Mickey Mouse Club.
-- Rev. Jim
Test for paraquat:
Take amount of grass used in one joint, and wash in 5 cc's
of water, agitating gently for 15 minutes. Strain out leaves,
leaving a brownish-yellow solution. Add 100 mg each of sodium
bicarbonate and sodium dithionite. If paraquat is present,
the solution will turn blue-green.
The best ways are the most straightforward ways. When you're sitting around
scamming these things out, all kinds of James Bondian ideas come forth, but
when it gets down to the reality of it, the simplest and most straightforward
way is usually the best, and the way that attracts the least attention.
Also, pouring gasoline on the water and lighting it like James Bond doesn't
work either.... They tried it during Prohibition.
-- Thomas King Forcade, marijuana smuggler
The radio was screaming: "Power to the People -- Right On!" John
Lennon's political song, ten years too late. "That poor fool should have
stayed where he was," said my attorney. "Punks like him only get in the
way when they try to be serious."
"Speaking of serious," I said. "I think it's about time to get
into the ether and the cocaine."
"Forget ether," he said. "Let's save it for soaking down the rug
in the suite. But here's this. Your half of the sunshine blotter. Just
chew it up like baseball gum."
I took the blotter and ate it. My attorney was now fumbling with
the salt shaker containing the cocaine. Opening it. Spilling it. Then
screaming and grabbing at the air, as our fine white dust blew up and out
across the desert highway. A very expensive little twister rising up from
the Great Red Shark. "Oh, Jesus!" he moaned. "Did you see what God just
did to us?"
-- Raoul Duke, "Rolling Stone", issue 95, Nov. 11, 1971
The weed of crime bears bitter fruit... but the leaves are good to smoke!
-- The Shadow
Then there was LSD, which was supposed to make you think you could fly.
I remember it made you think you couldn't stand up, and mostly it was right.
-- P. J. O'Rourke
There's been no top authority saying what marijuana does to you. I
really don't know that much about it. I tried it once but it didn't do
anything to me.
-- John Wayne
There's no room in the drug world for amateurs.
-- Raoul Duke
They are cold-blooded. They are completely ruthless about protecting
what they have. The only thing they connect to is the money aspect of
life. Let's face it: That's the American way.
-- Jeffery M. Johnson, regional chairman of the District
of Columbia United Way, speaking of drug dealers.
Turn on, tune in, and take over.
-- Tim Leary
"We friends, yes?" The shoe shine boy put on his hustling smile
and looked into the Sailor's dead, cold, undersea eyes, eyes without a
trace of warmth or lust or hate or any feeling the boy had experienced
in himself or seen in another, at once cold and intense, impersonal and
The Sailor leaned forward and put a finger on the boy's inner arm
at the elbow. He spoke in his dead junky whisper. "With veins like that,
Kid, I'd have myself a time!"
-- William Burroughs
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit
lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible
roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all
swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a
hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was
screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"
Then it was quiet again. My attorney had taken his shirt off and
was pouring beer on his chest, to facilitate the tanning process. "What the
hell are you yelling about?" he muttered, staring up at the sun with his
eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sungalsses. "Never mind,"
I said. "It's your turn to drive." I hit the brakes and aimed the Great
Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway. No point in mentioning the
bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.
-- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:
A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream"
Whatever became of Strange de Jim? Well, he found a substitute for cocaine:
"You cover Q-tips with sandpaper and ram them up your nostrils as far as they
will go. Then you sniff talcum powder while shredding hundred dollar bills."
-- Herb Caen
When I was young we didn't have MTV; we had to take drugs and go to concerts.
-- Steven Pearl
When one wants to get rid of an unsupportable pressure, one needs hashish.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
When your conscious becomes unconscious, you are drunk.
When your unconscious becomes conscious, you are stoned.
Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible.
-- late night industrial commercial much favored by druggies
Would you please have another look at my nose and put in that cocaine stuff....
-- Adolf Hitler, quoted by Dr. Giesing in Nuremberg trial
You notice that after Ginzburg admitted he had tried marijuana everyone got in
line to admit it, too. But you also notice they all said they "experimented"
with marijuana. The didn't "use" it; they "experimented" with it. Let me
tell you something -- Jonas Salk "experiments"; these guys were getting stoned!
-- Johnny Carson