A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
-- Carrie Snow
A male mathematician is someone who can count to twenty-one without
unzipping his fly.
A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.
-- Soren Kierkegaard
A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.
A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long
as he can.
-- Moms Mabley
Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally
of dealings with men.
Does he treat your breasts like unripe grapefruit? Who needs him?
-- `J', "The Sensuous Woman"
Don't accept rides from strange men -- and remember that all men are strange
-- Robin Morgan, "Sisterhood Is Powerful"
If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
If men couldn't fuck there'd be a bounty on their heads.
If they sent one man to the moon, why can't they send them all?
If you catch a man, throw him back.
-- Woman's Liberation Slogan, c. 1975
Lysistrata had a good idea.
Men -- can't live with 'em, can't leave 'em by the curb when you're done.
Men will fuck mud.
-- Lenny Bruce
Most men would never get laid if it weren't for the pity fuck.
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away
is your husband.
The sex life of spiders is very interesting.
He fucks her.
She bites his head off.
-- From a Women's Lib Poster
There are three women on the fast track in a particular company. The
president realizes it's time to promote one of them, but they're all so
competent that he's not sure which one to choose. So he devises a little
test. One day while they're all at lunch, he places $500 on each of their
desks. #1 returns it to him immediately. #2 pockets it. #3 invests
in the market and returns $1,500 to him in the morning. Who gets the
promotion? The one with the big tits!
Upon leaving a hotel bar one evening, an executive noticed a drunk sitting
on the edge of a potted palm in the lobby, crying like a baby. Because he'd
had a couple himself that night, and was feeling rather sorry for his fellow
man, he asked the inebriated one what the trouble was.
"I did a terrible thing tonight," sniffled the drunk. "I sold my
wife to a guy for a bottle of Scotch."
"That is terrible," said the man, too much under the weather to
muster any real indignation. "And now that she's gone, you wish you had her
"Thas right," said the drunk, still sniffling.
"You're sorry you sold her, because you realize too late that you
love her," sympathized the executive.
"No, no," said the drunk. "I wish I had her back because I'm
War is menstruation envy.
When God created man, She was only testing.
You know the Norplant thing? It's a new birth control device for women.
It's a cartridge, that goes in your arm. Well, they're coming out with
a new one for men: it's a brain, that goes in your head.
Beware of the man who denounces women writers; his penis is tiny and he
-- Erica Jong