1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
|
start = thought "\n"
;
thought = quote | funny | girl | body
;
# quote --------------------------------------------------------------------
quote = "\"Being is always the being of a being.\""
| "\"All of life is erotic losses.\""
| "\"Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'.\""
| "\"Hey Jude, don't be afraid.\""
| "\"Past performance is no guarantee of future results.\""
| "\"It's OK--I'm an intellectual too!\""
| "\"We have met the enemy, and he is us!\""
| "\"My nipples are exploding with delight!\""
;
# funny --------------------------------------------------------------------
funny = f_intstart " " f_funny " when " f_clause "?"
| f_decstart " " f_funny " when " f_clause "."
| f_decstart2 " " f_clause "."
;
f_intstart = "Isn't it" | "Don't you think it's" | "Do you find it"
;
f_decstart = "It's" | "I find it"
;
f_decstart2 = "I see that" | "Don't tell me that" | "I'm convinced that"
| "I'm aware that" | "I can't escape the fact that"
;
f_funny = "funny" | "humorous" | "laughable" | "risible" | "amusing"
| "sad" | "heart-rending" | "hard to take" | "painful"
;
f_clause = s_noun " " s_iverb
| p_noun " " p_iverb
| s_noun " " s_tverb " " noun
| p_noun " " p_tverb " " noun
;
noun = s_noun | p_noun
;
s_noun = "my butt" | "your computer" | "The President" | "Madonna"
| "an egg" | "a dog" | "The New York Times" | "an iguana"
| "plexiglass" | "hummus" | "baba ghanoush" | "a tall building"
| "The Legion of Doom" | "Stretch Armstrong"
;
p_noun = "monkies" | "The Monkees" | "phat beats" | "Neuticles"
| "tender morsels" | "damaged goods" | "cheese-filled hotdogs"
| "killer bees" | "naughty librarians" | "R-2 units"
| "Imperial stormtroopers" | "senators" | "celebrities"
| "the roses"
;
s_iverb = "dies" | "falls on the floor" | "drops out of school"
| "flees in terror" | "calls you 'Mom'" | "votes the party line"
| "goes into shock"
;
s_tverb = "crushes" | "propositions" | "votes for" | "placates"
| "plagiarizes from" | "woos" | "tattles on" | "slanders"
| "reviles" | "liberates" | "licks"
;
p_iverb = "capitulate" | "implode" | "pray for mercy"
;
p_tverb = "fly out of" | "become acquainted with" | "flock to"
| "detail the war-crimes of" | "de-criminalize"
| "stop to smell" | "ponder the relevance of"
;
# girl ---------------------------------------------------------------------
girl = "I like " g_adj " girls."
| "I like " g_adj " girls with " g_attr "."
;
g_adj = "cute" | "smart" | "funny"
;
g_attr = "a quicker wit than me" | "nice hair" | "T-shirts"
;
# body ---------------------------------------------------------------------
body = "I'm hungry." | "I'm thirsty." | "I'm tired."
| "I'm having a bad hair day." | "I'm lonely." | "I'm angry."
| "I'm overjoyed." | "I need a beer." | "I need a vodka tonic."
| "I need a Coke." | "My clothes itch."
;
# misc ---------------------------------------------------------------------
misc = "misc"
;
|
